Please Pass The Pheromone Collar…

Posted on November 14, 2010 by GJD

The morning I woke up in bliss. As I tumbled out of my beautiful dream about pastel flowers and tweeting birds, Blue-Blue purred and nestled in my arms. Then I opened my eyes to find my nose pressed against his pheromone collar. I wondered how long I’d been inhaling the fumes of the chemical compound formulated to mimic what the mother cat produces to calm and reassure her kittens.

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Posted in Animal Impact | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Why I Don’t Play Farmville…

Posted on November 9, 2010 by GJD

Think you can resist me?

There’s a reason why I don’t play Farmville…  or participate in diversions like The Truth Game, Bejeweled, City of Wonder, Simply Hospital, Word Challenge, or Solitaire.

Especially  Solitaire.

The alluring path of electronic games can be dangerously seductive.  Explaining their impact is best illustrated through a story I wrote (right after I erased Solitaire from my laptop) several years ago.  I’ll save the rest of my comments for the end of the story.

                                                                The Call (by JD Betts)

             With a second cup of coffee perched nearby, the best part of Gertrude Gunther’s morning routine began by checking her e-mail.  As a retired junior high school math teacher who occasionally filled in to substitute, she reveled in having time to relax and catch up with old friends.  The breakfast dishes had been removed and she considered this “her” time.

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Posted in Motivation, Works of Fiction | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

No “Easy” Button? Try This.

Posted on October 28, 2010 by GJD

Whoever came up with that magic “easy” button on the Staples commercials is a genius. 

Wouldn’t you love one of those?  We could all be walking around as the best versions of ourselves living the best lives we could dream up.  

Imagine eating triple chocolate Heath Blizzards from Dairy Queen and still sashaying across the stage in a size four evening dress accepting your Oscar for Screenwriting presented by… say, George Clooney, Dennis Quaid, and Harrison Ford.

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Posted in Motivation, Unchained Observations, Why I Established Sit.Desk.Write. | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Top Ten (Thousand) Reasons Your Significant Other Should Not Pay The Bills.

Posted on October 14, 2010 by GJD

When I was single I paid the bills.  When I first got married, I paid the bills.  In fact, I paid the bills for fifteen years.

One day my husband opened a phone bill and flipped.  He thought the finances could be better managed if he paid the bills.

Unclenching my tight little fists and giving him rein over that territory wasn’t easy, but he really wanted to and… he sweet-talked me.

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Posted in Unchained Observations | Tagged , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Now Where Did I Put My Husband? or… What Really Happened After The Garage Sale.

Posted on October 6, 2010 by GJD

 

Who Am I?

 

After we cleared off the driveway, we counted our money and celebrated at our favorite Indian restaurant; then we returned to the aftermath created by frantic garage sale preparation.  A topsy-turvy frayed-at-the-edges home awaited.

Sated by garlic naan, Saag Paneer, and a Kingfisher beer, as well as having walked those 25,000+ steps up and down the driveway, I pushed aside the piles of clothes on the end of the bed and slept like a woman who could care less if there was room for her husband or her cats.  Oscar Madison would have been proud.

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Posted in Motivation, Unchained Observations | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

The Final Results of How To Prepare For A Garage Sale Without Losing Your Mind Or Your Husband: Part IV

Posted on September 29, 2010 by GJD

Garage Sale Tiger

Our garage sale Saturday wasn’t my first time to the rodeo, but there’s always room for a new trick.

Two hours before we officially opened, a woman with bright yellow uncombed hair spilling over her Harry Potter glasses appeared and started inspecting the merchandise.  My husband noticed she’d parallel parked faultlessly on our lawn between the street and the sidewalk.  The area where he tried to grow grass all summer.

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Posted in Unchained Observations | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

How To Prepare For A Garage Sale Without Losing Your Mind Or Your Husband: Part III

Posted on September 25, 2010 by GJD
Ready to go.

Sit. Desk. Write.

With two days left before our garage sale, my husband and I were tripping over boxes of cookbooks and the collection of sun faces I’d decided to purge.  The man who wanted me to get rid of anything and everything balked when he discovered I’d put a price tag on the silver Chinese hand-exercise balls (They’re actually called Baoding Balls; I had to look it up…).  Mind you, I haven’t seen him use these for over ten years.

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Posted in Unchained Observations | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Picking An Apple: A Blog Dog Weighs In… Peter Walsh Design by Peter Walsh, plus… How To Prepare For A Garage Sale Without Losing Your Mind Or Your Husband: Part II.

Posted on September 22, 2010 by GJD
Tuesday's Apple

How Do You Like This Apple?

Look at me; combining two articles in one.

Efficient or crazy?  When you’re looking down the home stretch at a garage sale on Saturday, and you’re still at first base on Wednesday, I call it efficient.  When you’re up at 4 a.m., trying to hide the light from your laptop so it doesn’t wake the whole household (or at least the dog, because she’ll definitely sound the alarm), my husband calls that crazy.

Call it serendipity; the two topics dovetail perfectly.

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Posted in Picked Apples, Uncategorized, Unchained Observations | Tagged , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

How To Prepare For A Garage Sale Without Losing Your Mind Or Your Husband: Part I.

Posted on September 20, 2010 by GJD

Before I was married, my annual garage sale was a social event.  

On Friday night, I’d invite friends, relatives, and neighbors to a preview party, supply a ten foot sub-sandwich and libations, award door prizes (one year it was my vintage hat collection), and happily sell whatever combination of antiques, furniture, and one-of-a-kind items I could part with.

On Saturday, I’d open my garage to the public and on Sunday, whatever was left went to Goodwill.  On Monday, I’d treat myself to something substantial like a new mountain bike.

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Posted in Unchained Observations | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

What’s In A Dream? or… Watch Out Dennis Quaid.

Posted on September 16, 2010 by GJD

I'm having a nightmare!

I always thought this painting—The Scream—was a Van Gogh. I was wrong. It’s Edvard Munch; but guess what? His work was strongly influenced by Van Gogh (yes, I did a little research).  When I woke up this morning, the image was in my brain:  The Scream.

My husband asked how I slept. I said fine, except I had crazy dreams. He backed a couple of feet away and asked cautiously if he was in them.

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Posted in Unchained Observations | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments