How To Gain 9.4 Pounds in 13 Days. Really.

The starting point.

Let’s get right to it:

1.  Go on vacation to somewhere like… sunny, carefree Florida. 

2.  Pack only drawstring or elastic-waisted baggy shorts.  And flip-flops.                                            Loosen up–literally. 

You gotta be free.

3.  Try local delicacies like White Chocolate Key Lime Pie. 

My piece had a chocolate crust…

4.  Do not share.

5.  When you eat in, make sure you have plenty of Publix (local grocery store) Chocolate Trinity Ice Cream (at least 3 half gallons for a 13 day period) for dessert.

All I can say is YUMBO!

6.  Do not share.

7.  Find the biggest, best-est cheeseburger on the beach; like say, a ½ pounder with 3 cheeses and a plate of spicy fries known locally as the “Diver’s Special”.  Eat every crumb yourself… and do not share. 

Okay, this was filling.

8.  Forget to use your food journal.  Or, if you do, forget about it after you write your entries.

9.  Increase your normal alcohol intake by at least 90%.   Ditto salt, carbs, and of course, ice cream.

Don’t stop at one!

10.  If you do check your weight on actual scales, like at a local Publix grocery store, discount the poundage as faulty.

And, it also depends on what time of the day you weigh yourself…

Bonus:  Do not exercise and you will gain even more. 

During my vacation, I ran a total of 11.87 miles, biked 30.05 miles, swam (real swimming)

Every time I ran by Hurt Street, I thought how apropos…

over 2 hours, lifted weights, and walked 60+ miles.  I also carried heavy bags of shells for miles.  I do not want to imagine what I would weigh without having worked out. I don’t feel any larger, but I am.  The scales don’t lie.  I expected maybe a 5-6 pound gain (hoping for much less), but didn’t expect to see a 9-point-4 pound increase!

Now back in full triathlon training mode, I’ve diminished my increase to only 7 pounds.  J

If you would like more details on how to really enjoy a guiltless vacation, please contact me for specifics.  I am an expert on this subject!  ~ JD here.

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9 Responses to How To Gain 9.4 Pounds in 13 Days. Really.

  1. Paula Monroe says:

    Most of it’s water weight:))) That’s always my story and I’m sticking to it!

  2. Candace says:

    Yikes! I only gained 3# when we went to Charleston & walking for hours was the only exercise. You’re the expert!

  3. TomBoy says:

    Pretty sure that you were in Clearwater… There is an excellent Beachside Bistro there. Hope that it’s fare was at least partially responsible for your weight gain 🙂

    • JD says:

      Dear TomBoy, I’ve been to Clearwater and loved it, but this was in Panama City Beach near St. Andrews Park… Gee, wish I’d known about the Beachside Bistro then; trust me, I’m a nondiscriminatory weight gainer! 😉

  4. TomBoy says:

    Hahaha! Two of my buddies were born in Panama City. Cool. Great entry.

  5. Pingback: I never said I was Popeye. | Sit. Desk. Write.

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